14 legends and counting. Every one of them, allegedly real.
A neighborhood social post laid out a full slate of Independence Day restrictions: fireworks curfew, no barbecuing, no parties, quiet hours by 6 PM, and a request to not display the American flag too visibly because it offends some neighbors. The poster promised to call the police and clarified, unprompted, that they are not afraid.
A resident asked a neighbor to stop walking their dog in the morning, tracing a causal line from the passing dog to a barking dog to a woken teenager to a stack of undone chores. The proposed fix involves walking at dusk so the resident's dog cannot see.
A proposed apartment building cleared City Council and then cleared the lower bar of becoming a local Facebook group's main character for the evening.
Three letters, one cited bylaw about 'visual disruption to neighborhood aesthetic cohesion,' and one emergency board meeting. The offending material washes off in the rain.
A homeowner in a neighborhood called Woodlands — named for its trees — documented their neighbor throwing yard debris over the fence because the leaves came from the homeowner's trees. The neighbor has more trees.
A homeowner took their trash can to the curb on trash day, went to work, came home, and received a formal violation notice. Neighbors who leave their cans out all week have received none.
An HOA banned camouflage clothing outdoors because it was considered 'redneck.' They fined one resident repeatedly for wearing it daily. His unit commander eventually attended a board meeting to explain.
A resident argued that building more housing could lead to infectious disease outbreaks, attaching a highlighted passage about Ebola transmission in Central Africa as evidence for why a Midwestern city should not build apartments.
The approved color was Navajo White. The offending mailbox was Antique White. The board considered this a 'material deviation from community standards.'
The complaint cited 'unauthorized botanical activity' and alleged the tomato plants were 'encroaching on the visual character of the street.'
During public comment on a proposed bike lane, a resident used their allotted time to demand the city address 'the raccoon situation.' No further details were provided.
47 residents signed a petition opposing a coffee shop in a commercial district, arguing it would bring 'too many people' to an area zoned specifically for bringing people.
After a neighbor parked in 'his' spot on the public street, a resident placed cones and cited property law concepts that do not apply to public roads.
The letter argued that extending library hours was a waste of taxpayer money because 'everyone just uses their phone.' It was submitted in writing. To a newspaper.